God's faithfulness

On Wednesday, our family drove to Mexico because it was our 6 month mark of being in Guatemala and we had to renew our visas. We stayed in Tapachula, Mexico in a Comfort Inn hotel. It was a blast! There was a pool and I think we swam like 5 times...

Friday came and it was time for us to come back home. Following our GPS, we found ourselves traveling a much different route than we had taken to get there... and because our GPS was our only means of getting back home, we just had to do exactly as she (her name was Rakel or Carla) told us to do. As we were driving, the roads got rougher, the people gave us wierder looks because not many cars at all drove back there...  And the more we drove, the closer time it came for it to start getting dark outside. As we were driving, you could hear each of us whispering prayers to God that He knew exactly what He was doing and asking Him that His will be done in all this.
Having never been so scared in my entire life, I was praying to God. My prayer went something like this.. "God, I know you are good and therefore what is going on right now is good. You have provided everything we needed to make this move to Guatemala, will you not provide for us now?" But then after re-thinking it over, I changed my prayer. "God, you are good no matter what. If you bring us back to safety, this will be a great story that we can tell to show how awesome and powerful You are. And it will give us all more faith in you. But if you choose for us not to make it out of here, You are still good. The move would've been worth it because we've already been able to minister to many people, we've made such great friends, and have grown in our faith in You. God, may Your will be done in this situation." But even though I prayed this prayer, I was still cared out of my mind.
After driving for some time, Dad rolled down his window to 2 men who were standing next to the road to ask where this road was leading to. They said it was only going to be a dead-end and we should retrace our steps back a while to get back to main civilization. As soon as they told us this discouraging news, I looked around to see my other family members' reactions... we all took deep breaths and immediately started praying more and more. We had been driving on these terrible roads having fears that the van would soon break down and we would have to stay in this town over night.. a van-full of gringos without any clue of where we were. All I wanted to do was cry, but having my little brother Joshua sitting next to me, constantly looking at me to try to figure out what all was going on, I held it in because I didn't want him to be as scared as I was. But we prayed and we prayed that God's will be done.

Having to drive back up the very steep mountain, it was starting to get a little dusky. And even with the van being as new as it was, couldn't haul all of us up one big hill, so the oldest girls and Mom had to get out, to see if it could make it. The hill being as steep as it was, the van just couldn't do it, so we had to push. While pushing, Brittney prayed out loud that God would give us the strength it would take to push the van up, and God was faithful and gave us the strength we needed.

Climbing back in the van, we stil continued to pray and trust that God knew exactly what He was doing. We finally made it to a road that actually had cars on it, and we all rejoiced to see other vehicles coming and going! We drove on until we came to a city called Quetzaltenango where we decided to stay the night and we would then finish the trip the next day. While thanking God for delivering us from literally the most terrifying moment in my life, we prayed that He would provide us a good, safe hotel to stay in for the night. After about an hour of driving around and passing hotels that we just didn't feel right about, we finally came across one that looked clean and safe. Dad parked the van and went to go check it out. It turned out that this hotel was Christian-run and was very cheap, yet clean and safe. We unloaded our things and tossed them into our rooms.

While Dad went out to park the van in the parking lot, I walked into my Mom and Dad's room and my Mom asked me if I was okay. I looked at her and just fell apart. Not because I was still scared, but because I had never had so many emotions running through me at one time. After just crying with her for a couple minutes, I was better. Not myself by any means, but better. When he finished parking, we all gather into one room and praised God for bringing us through. We talked about all the ways that God took care of us, even when things looked like they just kept getting worse and worse. We prayed and all went to our rooms to get some sleep before the rest of the trip that would take place the next day. But me, being the stupid worrywart that I can be sometimes, woke up numerous times from dreams that we were stuck in the village and couldn't get out. I prayed that God would give me the rest I desperately needed, and He did.

In the morning, when we set off for breakfast and the last leg of the trip, we got outside and were so relieved to see daylight. It was refreshing to know that we will have the sun to help us out on our way back home, because in the scariness of driving the previous day, the scariest parts were driven in the dark. We got on the main road and took it all the way back to Chimaltenango and Dad knew his way back from there. I can not tell you how good it felt to be back into cities that I reccognized. If felt so good to be home where I felt safe. (Oh, by the way, we changed the GPS's name to Cruella Deville..)
A couple days after this incredibly big story, I was sitting in our living room, doing my devotions. I don't know what God has for me in my future. I mean, I know that I'm supposed to go to Uganda and minister to the people there, but I have no idea how I'm supposed to get my training or how I'm supposed to get there. I was pouring my heart out to God and asking Him for direction. And I realized. While I was praying in the van, my prayer wasn't "God, please let Rakel to bring us to safety and let everything be good, and keep us safe." I prayed that God would tell her to lead us where He wanted us to go. I prayed that Rakel would pick the right roads for us to go on. And even though it seemed like she (well, God) was taking us on the wrong roads, God knew exactly where we were going. He picked the right roads for us to be on. He wanted us to have that experience for a reason, even if we could't see it then. But because of all that, I now have more faith in God. I always knew that He could do anything, but now it's written even more on my heart. From my personal experience, I saw God's hand at work. I saw Him bring us out of the most seemingly impossible situation. So even if we went through all of that for nothing else, but the fact that I have more faith in Him, it would've still been worth it. I trust Him more and can trust Him in the future when He leads me into the rural villages of Uganda. I can know that He is good no matter what and He will provide everything I will need when I need it.

So, if you ask me how our trip to Mexico went, I'd tell you a mixture of things. I'd say that the drive there and the stay there went very well and we had a blast, but the drive home was not the smoothest of drives and certainly helped me to grow in my faith...and it most definitely was not what I had expected... but I'm glad it all happened because God's hand was with us through it all.

Radical

Now that I've graduated, I find myself asking God more and more to show me what He wants for me in my future. I've been seeking Him in the little day-to-day things and asking Him what He wants me to do in the here and now... because if I'm doing what He wants me to do in the everyday kinds of things, I'll be making the decisions that He wants me to make for the future... if that makes any sense...

And since I've had more free time, I've started reading Radical by David Platt again. And it's been really good for me to see what God was saying through David Platt, because it's applying to my life right now... And as I was reading this morning, this section really popped out to me, so I thought I'd share it with all of you...

"Let's put ourselves in the shoes of thse eager followers of Jesus in the first century. What if I were the potential disciple being told to drop my nets? What if you were the man whom Jesus told to not even say good-bye to his family? What if we were told to hate our familes and give up everything we had in order to follow Jesus?
This is where we come face to face with a dangerous reality. We do have to give up everything we have to follow Jesus. We do have to love him in a way that makes our closest relationships in this world look like hate. And it is enitrely possible that he will tell us to sell everything we have and give it to the  poor.
But we don't want to believe it. We are afraid of what it might mean for our lives. So we rationalize these passages away. 'Jesus wouldn't really tell us not to bury our father or say good-bye to our family. Jesus didn't literally mean to sell all we have and give it to the poor. What Jesus really meant was...'
And this is where we need to pause. Because we are starting to redefine Christianity. We are giving in to the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with.
A nice, middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affections. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, he loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid anger altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream.
But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

I've felt like God was showing me these very things, but I couldn't figure out how to write it all down.. but David Platt puts it perfectly. The word 'christian' literally means 'little Christ.' Jesus lived His life uncomfortably. He was a servant. That's why He came, to serve. Not to exalt Himself above everyone else. He came to be the lowest of the low and to show God's love to those who were told didn't deserve it.

In America, we have lead ourselves to believe that we should be comfortable, to be served. We make ourselves think that God would never ask us to give anything up for Him because we deserve better. But if we are living like Jesus like we say we are, we should be putting others above us. We should be literally giving EVERYTHING we have to God. We should be living for Him, no matter the cost to ourselves. Jesus lived how God wanted Him to live, and as a result, literally lost His life because of it.

We are to give ALL we are to Jesus and we are to give EVERYTHING to Him, no matter the cost. I know it's better said than done, but I am giving my all to Him. I am letting Him shine through me, no matter the cost to myself because He is worth it. He has given me my life in the first place, so I should give my life back to Him. He is worth it all, no matter what the world makes us think. If we aren't willing to give Him our all, and if we aren't willing to live for Him, no matter the cost, we can't call ourselves Christians. We can't claim the name of Jesus for ourselves because we aren't living the way He asked us to live. We are living for ourselves and pretending that He says it's okay, when He very much so says that it's wrong.

I would most definitey encourage all of you to pick up this book and start reading it. I know it's changing my view of Christianity, showing me the things I've justified in my mind simply because I wanted to live for me. I would encourage you to really read the Bible and learn what it means to be a real Christ-follower. I will be praying for all of you and I would ask you to pray for me as well...

His love

Love. What does it mean? Why does it feel like everyone else has it but you? Everyone seems happy and content, but you. You've been searching all your life for it but just can't seem to find it. You've been thinking it's just hiding in the closet somewhere, just waiting for the time to come out and surprise you. But it hasn't happended yet...and you're wondering, if it hasn't come out already at this point, it never will. 

Let me tell you a story...

There was a king who reigned higher than any other king. His kingdom streched accross the whole land and he and his son ruled together with love. Not just any kind of love, a love that was even bigger than his kingdom. It was higher than the sky, deeper than any ocean, wider than this world, and longer than the road that his people has to walk on. Anytime his people went through famines, plagues, deaths, wars, he hurt for them. He mourned as his people mourned, rejoiced as his people rejoiced, and was there as his people needed help.

One morning, the king rose just like any other morning and he got word that his kingdom was about to go under attack. He immediately warned the armies to get ready for something big. This was not going to be like any other battle his people would have to fight. It was going to be beyond them and he knew they couldn't do it on their own. So he called his son in and got him ready to fight. He gave his son his own armor and his own sword to fight.

As the rival army approached, the king's army got in position. They would be ready for the attack. Just as the offending army approached, something happended that no one expected. The king's son, riding on his horse named Glory road in ahead of them, with sword in hand, ready to fight. He had no fear because he would do anything for his people. And in that moment, it meant going before them in the battle and being what they needed him to be. He gave his own life and won the victory. 

Word got back to the king that they had won the battle. He rejoiced that the battle had been won, but he weeped that it was to the expense of his own son. He knew what had to happen to win, but he had to do what must be done to save his people. He had to give his only son for his people because his love for them was so great. 

He mourned for three days until he got great news. His son had risen from the dead and had come to reign at his right side. He rejoiced and through a huge celebration for the whole kingdom. And forever would his son be with his people because he won the battle for them. He was so great that he gave his life for the people he so greatly loved. 

This story is a true story. The king that reigned the great kindgom is God and His son is Jesus Christ. The battle won was the battle of our souls with Satan. He thinks he can try to win us over, but Jesus went before us in this battle and won. Jesus gave His life for us because He thought we were worth it. He loved us so much to do whatever was necessary to help us win. 

But the great news of all of this is not that He died while saving us. The great news is that He defeated death. He rose and He lives in us! He was so great that even death could not hold him! The same Jesus that had the power to raise from the dead, the same Jesus who had the power to win the battle for us lives in us. 

Jesus loved you enough to litterally give His life for you. He thought you were worth the pain that would come along with it, you were worth it all. He knew all that you would do in your life, how much you would fail, how imperfect you would be, and yet He still loved you enough to die for you. That is the ultimate love ever. 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8. 

THAT is love. And you can have that love by believing in Him and trusting Him that He is good. You can have that love by striving to live the perfect life He lived while He was here, on earth. 

His love is greater that you could ever imagine. And now knowing this great love, you can't say you aren't loved. Because you are. You are loved way more than you could ever fathom. And this great love is more than enough to cover what you are going through. There is hope because He is there with you, holding your hand every step you take. And every time you fall, He's there to help pick you back up again and help you on your way. You are never alone because the love of God is always with you and will never, ever leave you.