God's Beauty

There are so many things here on this earth that I would consider to be beautiful.. there are so many things that simply take my breath away. Like walking on the cobble stone streets here, in Guatemala and gazing at the beautiful run-down walls with the brightly colored flowers spilling out over top. Like walking down the street and seeing a precious little girl grasping the hand of her mommy or daddy as she stares at me in awe because I have white skin and I look different than her but she gives me a sweet little smile and says "hola" anyways. Like the freedom I feel when I stand on our rooftop, arms stretched out wide, feeling the gentle breeze flicking the hair off my shoulders, mountains so close that if I could stretch my arm out just a little bit farther I could touch them, so much color on all the streets and on every house, and the clear skies drenching me with sunlight. Like spending time with my amazing family, knowing that there is no other place on earth I'd rather be but in the same room as them, sharing the same love and deep passion for our Jesus. Or even simply gazing into the beautiful eyes of my sweet little Genaro and being able to understand how amazing of a little guy he is, even if he can't run around like the other seven year old's and even if he can't tell me exactly what is on his mind on any given moment. I could just sit with him for hours and hours and listen to him tell me every story he could think of, and me having no idea of a single thing he is saying because the only distinguishable word he can say is the word, "hola". And boy is he so proud to be able to say it to you! :)
God has been good to us and has blessed us in such incredible ways with all the beauty that surrounds us.. and most of the time I forget to stop and lift my head and thank Him for it. He did that all for us, for me. And not only has He blessed us with beautiful things around us, but He has also blessed us with the beautiful promise that says,

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

and also:

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" -Jeremiah 29:11-13

and:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

and:

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.." -Isaiah 41:10


And though God did created some pretty amazing things and though He did promise beautiful promises, there are many things that I would not consider to be beautiful. Like when I let the lies of the enemy seep into my mind without me knowing until I've faded off from God more than I realized. Like running from God, or dragging your feet for a while simply because you're scared of what He has asked you to do next. Like when I look back and remember some things from my past. The first thing that comes to mind would definitely not be the word "beautiful," I think it would be quite the opposite, actually. I remember so many things that I just wish I could forget.
Sometimes I hate remembering. Sometimes I just wish it could all go away..
Sometimes I get plain mad. I hate having to live with consequences that I didn't cause and I hate having to live with decisions I didn't make. Sometimes I hate it that I wasn't born into my family that I now have, and I hate it that I had to spend the first 7 1/2 years of my life away from them. Sometimes I hate it that even though I still love my biological parents more than they could ever understand, they don't love me back.

And sometimes I hate it that I don't always remember that God is still beautiful even in times that are hard. Sometimes I don't remember that beauty can even come from the times that are dark and scary and from pain and from brokenness. It can come in THE hardest times in your life, THE toughest situations, and THE most ugly-seeming circumstances. And it can come from remembering.
It just depends on from whose perspective you're looking at it.

Looking from a mere human's perspective(so small, insignificant, foolish, selfish and whiny), it would seem dark and anything but beautiful. Because we have a perspective that is so small and it is so hard for us to stop and think things through and see the big picture(partially because of those things I listed, and partly because we are not God, so we just can't).

But looking from God's perspective(so BIG, loving, wonderful, and the very definition of beauty), it is still beautiful and it all makes sense. He is the creator of ALL things and He has a plan for all things, so we can rest in Him in all things.. even though we tend to forget this.

When you are remembering and looking at things from God's perspective, it all makes sense. And while looking at things from His perspective, you come to understand things in a better way that you ever thought you could. It's a real eye-opener.

When I look back, I can see so many times where God held me. I can see how many times He was still good to me and still showed me His big love for me even before I knew of it or knew of Him. I can see that He was never out of reach, and that He was there the whole time holding my hand and holding me together, even when it felt like everything was falling apart.
..Not that He showed me specific instances where He was there, but in general. God showed me His faithfulness through the years, He showed me that He had a purpose in mind for it all. And God showed me 2 interesting ways to help me understand all this.

First, it's like when you meet someone for the first time. Before that moment of actually meeting them and knowing they exist, you couldn't feel them in the world, you didn't know they existed. But now that you do know them, you can see that all this time they've been there.. you just didn't know it yet.
And it's the same with God. Though when I was younger I didn't hear from Him and I didn't feel or know Him, I can look back and know that He was always there. I just hadn't met Him yet. And now that I know Him, I can get to know Him better and I can know that He was always there all along. Make sense?

Second, is in John 9, where Jesus heals the man born blind. They were walking by and  saw a blind man(Jesus and His disciples) when His disciples looked at Him and asked, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
And Jesus' beautiful response was this, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned..but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." Then He spit on the ground, made mud, put it on the man's eyes and told him to go wash them in the Pool of Siloam. The man did as he was told, and suddenly he had his sight.
I can imagine(yes, I imagine it, it's not necessarily true) that this man may have been angry and didn't understand why he had to be born blind. I'm sure at some point he had thoughts of Why did I have to be born this way? Why can't I be like the others? Why am I given this curse? And I'm sure he didn't understand why he had to be born that way. But little did he know, God was looking after him all along. God had a plan for him and God was faithful, even if the man couldn't see it. And you can see this in what Jesus said, "..this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." God had a greater plan and purpose for him that he probably could've never imagined!
At first glance, sure you'd think of his circumstance it negatively, right? Looking from the human perspective, it only looks bad, it seems like nothing good could be made of it.
But God had a beautiful plan in mind for his life. Because of this man's blindness, Jesus was able to perform an incredible miracle!

Beauty doesn't come in just pretty or good-seeming things. Beauty can come in anything negative or ugly-seeming. We just have to learn to have the faith in Jesus to trust that He has a beautiful plan in mind even for all the difficult stuff. We have to learn to have faith in Him because He is not going to just bless us off the bat.
In Jeremiah it doesn't say, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. You will find me and I will bless you in all that you do and I will show myself to you even though you're not doing anything in return.'"
No. It says:
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" -Jeremiah 29:11-13
We have to actually do something! We have to learn to trust, have faith, seek Him with all that we are. And when we give Him all we are, He will bless us and teach us His beauty behind what He does.

This is hard stuff. It is hard to get out of our own bubble of not-trusting-ness, and non-faithfulness, and pessimistic-ness, I know. It is hard to let go of anger, hurt, and hard feelings you once had(or still do have). But if we want to gain His wisdom on life, if we want to learn to see His beauty and His grace and mercy in our lives, we must change our outlook on it all.

I am just now learning not to just pretend that everything was okay and just avoid the ugly situation. I am just now learning to look at it right in the face and see it as it is and see that true beauty can come from it. I just have to believe and seek Him and trust God to show me.
And I challenge all of you to do the same.