I look at my baby girl and I'm amazed. Her tiny ears, fingers, tongue, knees, baby gums, her everything is so small, but even in their smallness, they still work. The moment she was placed on my chest for the first time ever, her ears had earwax, her nose had snot, her fingers had fingernails, and her head had hair (hardly, but surely). She was so beautiful, so small and helpless, and so very innocent. Never knowing of bad and of evil and of Satan and of sin. Perfect in His eyes, in my eyes. Perfect. 

She's now 4 months old and shes growing like a weed like they all do and I lose time staring at her, awing over the fact that she is mine, she is His, and I of all people get to be in her moments. She fusses and is learning her preferences, her wants and she's definitely learning how to use her lungs (especially when she's mad). She finds happiness in DVD plastic rappers, her tiny toys, tastes of real food, And even to further the awe, she finds happiness in me-in my arms. She chooses my small, frail, broken, human arms in which to find refuge. She gets unhappy and of all places, my arms are where she closes her eyes and rests. In my arms she is at peace, at home, in love. She's in her mommy's arms. I am on top of the world, yet at the feet of Jesus as I stare and look into her perfect face. My eyes fill of tears because what in the world did I do to deserve this? This life, this beauty, this baby. She leans on me to teach her, to love her, to show her to be Jesus and my knees almost break thinking about it. I am so very far from perfect, so why would He choose me?

He chooses me because in my imperfections, I can still teach. I can still love, still show how to be like Jesus, still follow Him. And as long as I show her Him in my brokenness and as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, He will show her the things I cannot. He will teach her to love Him, to grow in Him, to love the world and to love herself. He will teach her to be who He wants her to be.

My small, frail, broken arms and eyes are still beautiful because He made them, because they are His, because they are mine and I'm His, and because of what they get to behold every single day. I know I'm not perfect. I'm so broken and I've made so many mistakes, but my mistakes are His because He takes them to teach me and because He takes them and makes beauty out of them.

So I can close my eyes and rest in peace in His arms because He is my Daddy and He always will be. He teaches me to grow in Him, to love Him, to love the world, and to love myself because we're all His. And God, He IS perfect. All the time. He is good all the time and He makes beauty out of the ugliest ugly all the time.