After all of these years of being adopted, I don't think I ever stopped and realized how incredibly blessed I am to have such an amazing family! I mean, of course I've been thankful and have appreciated them, but never to the degree I should have. They are the most amazing people I've ever met and I am truly blessed and honored to call them my family! 

When we first made the decision to move to Guatemala, I was scared and excited. As time went on, I got more scared and more upset to leave everyone here. I thought the feeling would get better as time went on. Well, I was wrong..it in fact got worse. I kept thinking about all the bad things about the situation; I wasn't being optimistic. I knew God had it in His plan and everything was going to work out according to that plan but I was still scared (Even though that alone should've been enough for me..). 

About a month ago, I totally surrendered everything I am and have to Him (which is what I should have done a long time ago..). I promised to take up the challenge from In His Steps.. to (for a full year) ask the question "What would Jesus do?" before I make any decision. It's where the whole WWJD thing came from. Yes, it's hard sometimes doing what you know is right, but it is SO worth it! It helps you to understand what it truly means to be a disciple of Christ. It challenges you to actually live out what you say you believe.

But because of that, God's done a lot on my heart. He's shown me that it's okay to do what He calls me to do because He really does have it under control. Yes, I do have days that it's harder than others, but for the most part, I'm SO excited to move! He's helped me to realize that I still get to be with the coolest people ever when I move. Yes, I'm leaving almost all of my closest friends here, but I get to take my best friends with me! :)

Along with all of that, He has shown me all that I've been blessed with. The sad thing is that most of us take for granted lots of the things that He's done for us. We get too carried away with what we don't have (or in my case what I'm leaving behind). We should, instead, think about what we do have. We should learn to count our blessings instead of what we wish we had. It does your heart good to realize all God has done for you. It helps you to appreciate what you do have when you're suffering. God says that we are going to suffer if we choose to live life like Christ...we're all going to suffer at one time or another. Are you going to be extra thankful for everything you have now and praise Him even more for everything you have? Are you going to be ready when you do suffer because you can know that He is still good and will never fail you?

I know that I make mistakes...I make LOTS of them. So it's not that I think I'm perfect and that I'm instructing you all to follow in my steps. That's certainly not what I'm saying. You should follow in His steps.. I'm being challenged myself, so I'm also challenging others. Not none of us is perfect..we're all going to make mistakes. But we should try our best in spite of those mistakes. God is AMAZING and deserves way more than what we have to offer Him. We should strive to do our very best in everything so we can please Him!

True Discipleship

[Before you read this, you should know that the words I say may upset you. I believe God has put this on my heart to share. If you get offended, remember that no one forced you to read it, it was your choice.]

I'm angry. I'm angry with myself and I'm angry with every Christian out there who hasn't fully lived up the the name they've taken. I'm angry that I've wasted part of my life and put a damper on the great name of Christ. I'm angry that I would get so comfortable in my own little world that I would lose sight of the amazing purpose God has for me. I'm angry that I've let all those opportunities God gave to me to share with these love-starved people go to waste. I'm angry that I haven't given myself to Him, that I haven't truly suffered over my Christianity. I haven't truly had to suffer for my Jesus.
But why? Why don't we suffer? Why aren't we willing? Why? Selfishness. Materialism. Fake Christianity. First century Christians who truly suffered and who were martyred for their outspoken faith would roll over in their graves to see what the church of America has done to the name of Christianity as a whole; what we've done to the name of Christ.
They were thrown into prison. They were beaten. They were stoned. They were persecuted. They suffered. The knew what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. They lived up to their name. They were happy when they had to suffer because it meant that God would bless them when they got to Heaven. Because they were following in His steps. We are to do as Jesus would do. He suffered. He was beaten, spit on, rejected, and killed on the cross. And during all of this, He prayed for those who were doing it to Him. Are you living out your faith so much as to suffer for it?
What have you had to suffer through for your Jesus? What pains have come through doing what is necessary to follow your Jesus? What are you doing about your faith? Are you truly living up to what it means to be a disciple? Or are you just helping to smear the name? I've had to ask myself these questions and I'm disappointed to know the answers. I haven't truly suffered. I haven't truly lived up to it. I haven't truly learned what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Till now.
I think everyone by now has long known of our moving to Guatemala. For those of you who don't yet know, we plan to leave Ohio on January 12th. Yeah, that's 2 months away.
I'm not trying to brag, or to make people think good of us, but I am saying that we're doing something. We're giving up most of what we have, leaving everyone we've ever known, leaving everything we've ever known to move to a place I've never even set foot in. I'm finally learning what it means to suffer for Him. It feels good. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's scary, but SO worth it! I'm finally learning what it means to be a servant of God.
So I challenge you. I challenge you to give up something, do something, say something that's gonna make you suffer. (for Christ, obviously) I dare you. Live up to what it truly means to be a disciple. Learn what it truly means to follow In His Steps.
In His Steps is a book that totally shook me up. I'd definitely recommend it. It's written by Charles M. Sheldon. In it he challenges every Christian to take up a pledge. For one whole year, ask the question, "What would Jesus do?" before any decision is made. It'll challenge you as a business owner, a parent, an employee, a friend, sibling, child, or unemployed worker. It'll challenge you, not matter what your title may be, to truly be honest. To truly re-think all your previous ways of living.
Are you a true disciple of Jesus Christ? Are you willing to follow His call, not matter what the suffering may be? If not, then stop calling yourself a Christian. Live up to what you say you believe, or don't say it at all.

‎"There is a great quantity of nominal Christianity today. There is need of more of the real kind. We need revival of the Christianity of Christ. We have, unconsciously, lazily, selfishly, formally grown into a discipleship that Jesus Himself would not acknowledge. He would say to many of us when we cry, 'Lord, Lord,' '...I never knew you!' Are we ready to take up the cross? Is it possible for this church to sing with exact truth,
'Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee'?


"If we can sing that truly, then we may claim discipleship. But if our definition of being a Christian is no expense to our...selves, have a good, easy time surrounded by pleasant friends and by comfortable things, live respectably and at the same time avoid the world's great stress of sin and trouble because it is too much pain to bear it-if this is our definition of Christianity, surely we are a long way from following the steps of Him who trod the way with groans and tears and sobs of anguish for a lost humanity; Who seat, as it were, great drops of blood; Who cried out on the upreared cross, 'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?'
Are we ready to make and live a new discipleship? Are we ready to reconsider our definition of a Christian? What is it to be a Christian? It is to do as He would do. It is to walk in His steps." -Charles M. Sheldon from In His Steps.

To all of you who actually read this, I wanted to let you know that I'm an idiot. I failed to do what God asked me to do when He asked me to do it. I was recently in a relationship that God was telling me I needed to end. Don't get me wrong, nothing bad happened or anything, I promise. It's just that I wasn't spiritually ready for a real relationship. I felt like God was calling me to give Him my WHOLE heart in order to find out what His will is for my life. I needed to let go of it because it was keeping me from giving Him my whole heart. But I selfishly held on. I didn't want to give it up quite honestly because I liked the feeling of being wanted. I loved it how at the end of every time I saw him, he would ask me when I would next be available. And the fact that he's a pretty amazing guy! :)

But why do we, as humans, do that? How can we be so unwillingly to do what God asks us to do? How can we say 'no' even when He assures you that everything's going to turn out the way He planned, that it's going to be worth it? It all comes down to faith (or the lack thereof..).

We get so caught up on what our physical minds want as opposed to what our spiritual minds want. We get too comfortable in our worldly places that we don't want to move when God asks us. We're too afraid to give up those comforts we so long for that we miss out on what seems to be the scary thing He's calling us to do. We are faithless, so we continue on with our comfortable American lives. (don't get me wrong, I love my country, but the church has gotten so lazy and comfortable to do what is necessary to change the world around us... And if you've met my dad, you'll totally know where I get this from) But God did not call us to be comfortable while making little effort to change this dying world. He called us to follow Him, even to the parts that we won't be so comfortable in. That no matter what happens in this life, to get back up and have perseverance because in the end, it will be worth it.

Paul in Acts 14:19-20:
"Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city..."
They STONED him and he got right back up and went right back into that town! THAT, my friend, is true discipleship, true faith. I'm not sure we would be so willing to stand up for what we believe in so much to have a city stone us, and then come right back to those same people. We have gotten way too comfortable as a whole to do what God has truly called us to do.

We need to pick up our cross and follow the One who sacrificed His own life for us. Do you think Jesus was comfortable up there, on that cross, praying for the very people who up him up there in the first place? I don't think so. We need to leave everything we have to follow Him. That is what true discipleship is, what true faith is. We need to get past what we physically want and think about what is going to come to us in the future when we're standing in front of the living God. He says that we will be blessed many times over when we get to Heaven. So do you want Him to tell you, "Well done, good and faithful servant?" If so, what is He calling you to do? What is it that you might be holding back?

I have offended you by what I have said, then good. It's time for the church of America to rise up and actually live out the faith we all claim to have. We need to live our lives for the One who gave His for us.