Jesus' hope and where God's leading me

I know that Carissa and I got back home almost 2 weeks ago (Nov 1st... adoption day! :) ), and I'm sorry that it has taken so long for me to write. My experience in Africa was one that I will never, EVER forget about and I PRAISE Jesus for letting me have such an experience of serving Him and others, of loving with more love I could've imagined, and with SO much peace as I was doing what He was asking me to do. I believe I updated you here and there in the first weeks of being there, but I figured I'd fill you in on bits and pieces here and there that stood out to me and that taught me the most..

It was the third week of me being in the beautiful country of Uganda, and I found myself right smack-dab in the heart of the Namowango slum. I had prayed to Jesus countless times before about being in the heart of Africa because that is where I felt He was calling me. I remembered years back to when I was sitting on my bed in my room of our comfy house in our comfy town in our comfy state in our comfy country and I begged Him to take me out of that comfort. Even though I was absolutely terrified of what that might mean, I begged Him anyways because I knew that was what He wanted for me, so I wanted it to because His plan is always best. And I couldn't believe that I was finally there. I look around and all around me is poverty. Everything is covered in red dirt and everything has stains from anything and everything. Trash covered so much of the ground and red dirt huts and hardly-holding-together wood shacks lined dirt roads. Streams of water that I'm almost sure wasn't just water ran through everyone's homes and I cannot even describe to you the stench. But even though I found myself in such hopelessness and hurt and horror, I looked around and saw black faces staring at me, each one full of stories I can't even imagine, each one with a human heart just like mine that God gave them. Everyone smiled at me when I smiled first and said, "hi" and each one wanted to be noticed by the mzungu(me, the white girl). I wished I could go around to every single little person and pick them up and twirl around with them in my arms and whisper to them that they are special and I wanted to tell them that I loved them and Jesus loved them, even if they didn't understand because it is the truth. I saw hurt souls that have been lied to and misled and compromised so much more than I could even try to comprehend. And it hit me. How in the world am I supposed to make even the slightest difference in such poverty? I'm just me, there's no way I could ever be enough or do enough to even make a dent. And as I sat there listening to a mother telling about her home situation of not having toilets or showers or having to wait in line all day to fill up their always empty water buckets, I begged God to whisper His still small voice to me. He called me there, He provided and made the way for me to be there, so what was I supposed to do? And as I stood there trying to take in as much as I possibly could so I could try to take it home with me, He whispered to me and it was so clear that He might as well have yelled it across the whole country.

My purpose in being there had nothing to do with their lack of food or clothes or money for rent. There's no way little Teisha could change even a single thing there. My purpose is to share His love and hope with anyone and everyone. I am supposed to share Jesus' saving story with anyone and everyone because even if I can't change a single thing about their physical state, saving their souls is what matters. People can have so much or so little in this life, but that doesn't matter because all of it will be thrown away in the end.. but if I can help with their physical state to, then I will because I believe that's what Jesus would do.

As the Scripture says, 'Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.' For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile-the Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom the have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'" Romans 10:11-15

That is why I am called to be smack-dab in the heart of the slum in the middle of Uganda, Africa. He has called me to be those beautiful feet who bring good news. And I am so humbled that He has chosen me to do so. Because even though I was there to hopefully bless them, I'm absolutely convinced that they have blessed me so much more. And I am so honored that He has asked me to go back there and bless and be blessed even more. And it's not me doing the work either, it's not me blessing lives. It is the God above of all, the Creator of all things, the Servant of servants who does it through me. And He gave me a chance while I was there in Uganda to share those good news and His love.

A few weeks later when I was at another ministry working in another slum in Uganda, I got the opportunity to share my testimony with a group of about 25-35 women who have lived as slaves to poverty ever since they were born into poverty. I have learned over the years that God had a purpose for all that happened when I was a little girl, for when I found myself in a situation that I thought was completely and utterly hopeless. I knew He had a plan for that hurt, for that loneliness and abandonment, and I had thought that I had already seen almost all of the good that was going to benefit from it. But I was so wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I know that my story doesn't scale compared to the stories they live and face every single day. I know that my troubles were so little compared to the troubles people all around me have, so I don't pretend that my story was worse than it was. But it was hard, and it is a story of hope and that is why I shared it.

As I shared with the women, I'd say a sentence, Cliff would translate it into Luganda and then Lilian would translate it into Acholi(the native language of that tribe). I shared all that happened when I was little and the things I felt and I shared how God brought me through and how He was there with me the whole time, even when I didn't understand. And I told them, "I don't know most of your names, I don't know the stories of your lives, the things you have been through to bring you to be the person you are today. I don't know the things you face every single day, most of them are harder than I can even imagine. And I can't promise you that God will take you out of any of those situations. I can't promise you that you'll find yourself with more money you've ever had, I can't promise that He will make every relationship better and all circumstances better.. But I can promise you a love and a hope that you have never imagined. I can promise you that even when you walk through the darkest times in life, He will walk with you through them and when you can't stand on your own, He'll carry you. And that makes the difference. He came to save souls, to comfort the lonely, to mend the broken-hearted. He is the God of the universe and He holds all things together.. and He holds our hearts together too, even when it feels like everything else is falling apart." I told them of when God called me to Uganda, and even though I didn't know why back then, I still followed Him anyways. And as I followed Him, He showed me why I was supposed to be there, and that reason was so that I could stand there in front of all those women and tell them of His love and goodness despite all the ugliness and lies all around. And I also said more words that He put in my mouth to say, and I cannot begin to try to describe to you the emotion that was in that room.
That was the reason I was in Uganda in the time that I was there. That is what I am called to do. And that is exactly what I'm going to do when I get to go back.

And not only do I want/feel called to share that story, but I feel called to teach more. To teach of Jesus' life, lives of others who lived before us who had wisdom to share with us that we can learn from. To teach the very words God breathed so that we can get to know Him better and so that we can learn to follow Him radically through life even harder and more closely behind Him than we ever have before.

And for that reason, I feel that God has called me to go to Bible school so I can learn more so I can teach more. It terrifies me thinking of living back in the states, without my family, doing school work that I was so thankful to be done with when I graduated from high school. But it is what I must do. It is in His plan for me, so I must radically follow behind, trusting He'll bring me through. Where God calls, He provides, He equips, He loves, and like I said, He has a purpose.