I have successfully been in the ever-famous United States of America for four weeks now and in some ways the time seems to have flown by, yet in others it seems like it's taking forever to pass. I've been settled for three weeks now into the home that I will spend the whole summer in, but I don't have much time that I can spend there. I have been extremely, extremely blessed and have been re-hired at my previous work place, Culver's, and I have been given roughly 40 hours a week. I look around at so many things here and I can't help but have peace that this is exactly where He wants me to be. From the already-paid-for-phone, to the house and family to stay with, to a full-time job, to hand-me-down clothes from my sister and friend that fit perfectly, to a jacket that I needed, and friends here who really care. I look and see the pieces that have fallen together and can't imagine them being put together by none other than the One who ordained them be put together long before time existed. And I'm so thankful that I can know that He's here, taking care of me.

I say I don't have much time to spend at home because I am working full time, I get off work late some nights and for some reason, I can't sleep now that I'm all by myself. I've never had a room all to myself and I just lay there for hours, so I pull out my Bible and beg Him to whisper to me while I'm sleepless. And He is always faithful and He does. Needless to say, it's been quite the struggle to get the rest I need to be able to go to work and put out all the energy I possibly can while I'm there. It's been far too easy to get caught up in trying to sleep and working that I have lost my joy some days and I groggily get up and go through the motions of work and then collapse on my bed. I hate just going through the motions, I hate not having as much joy as usual, I hate not being me. I also miss my family so very much. They are my home, where my heart is and it's been hard to be away from them. I'm used to having them with me, I'm used to them making all my decisions for me (I really did spend 10 minutes staring at calendars one day and then 10 minutes staring at coffee mugs another because I had no idea what to do). Though I really, really miss them, I've been blessed to have a sister here come into my workplace at my 30 minute break because I had a bad day and she just wanted to be there for me, to show me she loves me. My friends ask me if I really am just tired or if there is something else going on, and they listen even when I don't make sense and they love me (even though I still haven't gotten out to prayer group with them Saturday nights). And I've been blessed with a family-away-from-family who take care of me, who feed me (when I'm actually there) and who remind me of His love and remind me that they're there for me when I need them.

I scroll down my news feed on facebook and I see pictures of dear friends in Uganda, I see family in Guatemala loving life and loving ministry and I can't help but wish I could be there too.. either place. Anywhere but here. I'm not used to these struggles, I'm not used to these schedules and working, I'm not used to being away from my family, out of my comfort zone. But here I am, and I have to keep begging Him to remind me that He has a purpose even for this. I just have to open my eyes and live today for Him and He'll take me to where He wants me to be one step at a time.

Each morning when I get up, I want to have His passion, His fire, His love burning in me so much that anyone who sees it can't mistake it for me, but they can know it's Him. I want each time that I serve custard or butter burgers to be a chance for me to serve Him. Everyone deserves to know Him too. Being here, this is a good and beautiful gift from Him just for me and I must keep my hands open to receive this gift. In my weakness He is strong. I'm thankful for this weakness because now, while I need Him, I get to see Him in a new way, I get to know Him more intimately. And even here His Will can be done.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"But as for me, I will sing about your power. Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love. For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress." Psalm 59:16