Today celebrates exactly one year of living here in Guatemala, and it has been a good year. God has blessed us in so many ways it's impossible to try to describe them all.
He has helped us start up our 4-wheel drive ministry, has helped us to find many families close to home to help out, He has helped us build such incredible relationships, He brought us through the scarey and hard, He has brought us(me) through times of unfaithfulness on our(my) part, has taught me a little bit more of His wisdom and love, but most of all, He has been with us. He has never left my side-even though I didn't deserve that back a long time ago. He has continued to be faithful and He has continued to love me anyways. For that I am SO thankful.
Living in a different country than the one you've spent your whole life living in can change your life; it has, perhaps, changed mine forever. It has taught me what it's like to be uncomfortable and out of place at times. It has helped me to understand a whole new culture and a new type of people. It has taught me to speak another language and help me to better understand my own language. It has taught me to think outside of my world and see what it's like for others. And it has taught me to get out of the American mindset, to reach the "American Dream," and to learn to appreciate the things that really matter in life.
And living here, seeing so many new things, new circumstances, new resources, and a new faith has taught me, I think, the most valuable thing about life. It(or He, rather) has taught me why I am created. He has given me a purpose and a passion. He has given me a drive in my heart that I won't stop until I have done all that I can to accomplish it. And that purpose is to love.
In the United States, you are taught that in life, you need more. You always need better. You need so much that you have so much stored in basements, attics, and garages and are having regular yard sales to get rid of it... so you can get more. You are taught to be comfortable and get what you need and want and that will make you happy. They feed you the lie that you're fine where you are and you don't need to get up and help someone else because there's always someone else who does that, right? Life is all about "me." Life centers around "me" and I always deserve the best.
While being here, in Guatemala(a place very different than the US) I have learned something completely different. Partly because of the culture here is so basic and practical and more appreciative of things over-all, and partly because it was just a time to get away from the American mind-set so I could focus on God's mind-set. And to my surprise, I have found that the point of living, the reason we were created, is the simplest and yet the most complex thing out there. And that is love. Love.
Love completely changes everything in life. Whether you have love or not determines your character, who you are, and as a result your actions. Love changes your out-look on life and the way you see things. Love can completely consume a person, or the lack of it can completely drive a person to bitterness. Everything comes down to love.
Love can come in many forms and can come from many different places. And it can easily be confused with many other things. It can mean the way you see and treat your family or your friends. It can come in the form of being completely filled with it towards another person, which drives you to want to spend the rest of your life with them. You may feel it towards someone, or someone may feel it towards you. It is easily confused with lust, a feeling anything positive to make you feel something other than emptiness, it can be confused with someone who makes you feel special for just a moment, it can be confused with butterflies in the stomach, it can be confused with the lie you blindly believe that says you are needed only physically but not anything else, or just the basic the need of some kind of physical pleasure. It can come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Sometimes it comes stronger than other times. Or sometimes, it doesn't come at all.
Many people are confused with what love means because they have never been shown what real love is in the first place. Some people have never felt real love for anyone or have never felt it from someone else. Real love in its purest, rawest form is very, very rare to find. And you can only find it by searching our incredible God who gives it freely to all.
1 John 4:8 says:
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
If God is love, then how do you get to real love without God? The answer is that you can't. You can only find love by knowing God because, like the verse says, "God is love."
I Corinthians 13:1-8:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love NEVER fails."
1 Corinthians 13:13:
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Mattew 22:37-39:
"Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"
If you have God's real, true, deep love in you, you will be joyful. You will be happy. You will know His Will for your life-to ultimately bring Him the most glory. If you have real love in you, you will see everything with a new perspective, you will see everything through a new pair of eyes. If you love, you will serve everyone with humility because of love.
Philippians 2:5-11 says:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
He did all of that because of love. He loved us all so much that He would humble Himself and give all of Him, so that we may someday know our God intimately. He spent His life loving people and showing them that love by the way He lived. It wasn't just lip action. He helped thousands because of His love for the people and because of His love that He had for His Father. He help the lepors, He helped the broken, He stopped for the one. He loved with all of His heart and with all of His being, so God honored Him and "exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every other name." Jesus had true joy in His heart and was directly in the middle of God's will for Him because of love.
If you love and if you are filled with love, you won't stay there where you are, in your comfortable-ness. You won't continue to let that someone else do the work. Because there aren't many of those. There aren't many people who have given all they are to God and are doing that work. If you love, you will choose to understand what it's like to see things through God's eyes. If you love, you will care about those who have literally less than nothing. You will change how you act with people in general. You will let it completely consume you until there is nothing more of you left.
If you love, you will have reached your purpose in life. You will have accomplished and completed the reason you were created. If you love, you will no longer look to humanly pleasures and you will look to our incredible God for all you need.
I must admit that I fail at this sometimes. I don't get it right the first time, and sometimes not even the second, third, or fourth time. But over this last year, God has never once left my side. Though there were times where I felt that He was so far away and didn't want to listen to my cries for help, I know He was there with me the whole way. Though I don't deserve it(and have never deserved it), God is still here, by my side. He has always been, still is, and forever will be holding my hand as He takes me through His plans for me.
This God who provided me with such a beautiful family, this God who brought me here to do this ministry, this God who literally moved mountains, and this God who promised to never fail is still the same God today. He has never changed, nor will He ever change. He is the same yesterday, today and always. This God still moves mountains, this God still promises to never fail, this God still loves His people.
This love is far more than I could ever try to comprehend. This love is too complex and SO big that I will never be able to give it in it's purest form.
His love, it surrounds me. His fire, it consumes me. His power, it humbles me. His grace, it covers me. His faithfulness, it overwhelmes me. His hope, it enables me.
He has been all I needed in the past. He has been all I needed this last year that was filled with so many new things and so many what-if's. He will always be all I need wherever I go this next year. Because He loves me. And He loves all those He will touch through me in my future. He loves, so I will love. I will go wherever He leads me to love His people wherever it is needed. I will say "yes" to Him because I love Him and want to understand more of what that love really is. I give all of me to Him so that His love may consume me so that there may not be any part of me left.
"We aren't really called to save the world, not even to save one person; Jesus does that. We are just called to love with abandon." -Katie Davis
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A post from November 15th
Today, I have had the wonderful opportunity of spending my day with a beautiful young lady that will now be staying with us for the next couple days. I must admit, it wasn't the way I had origionally planned to spend my day, but if I had the choice, I wouldn't have spent it any other way.
She has come to our home because she is an orphan. We had gotten the call yesterday that she was in need of a new place to stay because things at the other place she was previously living "didn't work out." I don't know what that means, and I'm not sure I want to know... whether it was her fault or not. She is 23 years old, but due to some mental handicaps, sometimes she seems like a 13 or 14 year old or sometimes younger.. I'm not completely sure about her whole story and to be completely honest, I don't think I'd want to know the whole thing. I know that she has spent some years in a state-run institution (which I could never imagine what that was like because anything run by Guatemala is a nightmare..) and she's been bounced around from home to home. And by talking with her a little, she told me that both of her parents died and she has no siblings. So according to her, she's "libre" or "free".
Quite ironically, I have begun to read the book Kisses From Katie, by Katie Davis. It's the story of a 22 year old girl who literally gave everything to move to Uganda to serve and love the people there in any way she can. And she talks about how you can't change the world with just one big act, with one big thing. You can't radically change and truly share God's love to a country, a state, a city, a village, or even a family effectively by simply doing one great act to help out and calling it good. You change it one person at a time. It takes lots of time and effort. It takes "stopping for the one", stooping down to the need in front of you and tending to it until it gets better.
Just as I was reading this chapter, I found out the phone had just rung and there was a girl from our church who we hardly knew that was in need of a place to stay for a few days.. I stopped. I have always wanted to be one of the "biological kids" that is there to help the kid in need. Since I myself had been in foster care, I have always wanted to play the part in helping the in-coming person instead of being the kid coming in. It meant so much to me to have such a beautiful family there to open their arms for me in my need. I've always wanted to be there for someone else in theirs. And I know that we're not necessarily her foster family at this point, but at least for a couple nights it's basically the same. We ended up agreeing to keeping her for a few days, until they can find somewhere more perminant for her.
And it dawned on me. She has nothing of her own. She has never known what it means to have a home, to have a family. She has never had a place to call hers, she has never known what it means to belong. And I felt as if my heart had broken in two. And it immediately made me think of my own situation..
Why was I chosen to have the family? Why do I get the one with the happy home, with a place I can call mine? What did I do to deserve all this? Why does my story look so much happier than hers? Sometimes when I think about it, I feel so guilty. I KNOW that I don't deserve all that God has given me. I KNOW that I am no better than the one feeling lost and insecure. And I start to feel guilty because most of the time I take my family for granted. Most of the time I forget to think of how things could be way different for me if God hadn't given me such a wonderful and beautiful gift. My heart felt broken when I thought about how I get the luxury of having a family and she doesn't.
And even today, as I walked with her to go get ice cream at the Sarita, as I looked into her beautiful dark brown eyes and saw her big, white smile, while we were playing UNO on the roof, I hurt for her. I saw the hurt that she has carried with her all these years. I saw all the beauty that she is, even though others may tell you differently. I looked into her eyes, and I got the amazing and beautiful priviledge of seeing Jesus. And even while we were coloring, or when she was so proud to be able to tell me how to spell her name even though she can't read, when she smiled at me and just gave me a long, lasting hug, I felt as if I was looking into the beautiful face of my Jesus and embracing Him in my arms as I hugged her. And I was and am so blessed.
You see, to God, Blanca is so important. He doesn't look at her and see that she is an orphan and has no where to call her own. He looks at her and sees her for the beautiful young woman that He created. He sees her as the one He died for on the cross. You see, to Him, she was worth it. To Him, she is no different than me or you. She is every bit as beautiful to Him as you and I are. His heart breaks every time it "doesn't work out" at the place she's staying. His heart hurts every time she feels alone and scared and unimportant. He knows exactly how she feels when she falls asleep at yet another place that she can't call her own. He KNOWS the hurt she deals with when she feels lost and alone. Because like I said, she is HIS. She is His beautiful creation and He hurts every time she does.
And for this very reason, I feel guilty. I am no more special than she is. I am no more important than she is. I don't deserve all that God has given me any more than her.
But that's WHY He chose me. Because I'm not special. Because I don't mean more to Him than she does. If for nothing else, it was to have the understanding and hurt that I did for her today. I would go through it all again, even if it just meant to understand her, to be there for her in her hard time, to show her the love of Jesus. Because I know what it's like to feel like I don't belong. I know what it's like to have to stay in a place unfamiliar to you. I don't know it to the extent she does, not nearly to that extent, but I do a little. And I got to share my story with her. And how God helped me through it, each step of the way. Without His help, I would not be where I am today. All the glory is His. And I can confide in Him for my future because He has taken care of me all these years.
And though I couldn't promise her a family like mine, though I couldn't say that she will ever find a perminant place, I did tell her about His love for her. And even though she may feel alone and scared, He is ALWAYS with her. No matter what she's going through. He has always been looking out for her, and He will be with her each step she takes in her future. Because He loves her.
That's why He chose me; so that way He can get all the glory, that way I can't take any credit for myself, so that I could be there for her in her moment in need as He was with me in mine. I can help bring hope to her and to others who feel as if there is none.
I wish I could take away all the pain and hurt she carries with her. I wish I could tell her that everything will work out and that she will find a home. I wish I could tell her that my home is a place she can call hers. I wish I could say that we can be the family that she so desperately longs for. But I can't. And it hurts that I can't. I wish I could change all of this, but I can't. Because I am only Teisha. And I don't know what is God's Will at this point.
So even though I hurt for her, though tonight she will go to sleep in yet another place she can't call her own, with people she can't call her family, I trust in Him. I trust that He has a purpose for all of this. I trust that His Will will be done in her. And I trust that He will be with her to calm her heart, to dry her tears, and to hold her tight because she is His. His love, patience, and mercy NEVER run out. He will always be all that she needs Him to be, never anything less.
So for today, I stooped down and helped the one. I was the help when there was need. And I plan on doing the same for many, many others. Because "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." -Luke 12:48. God has blessed me with a wonderful home and family, so it is my responsibility to help others who don't. I am to be Jesus to those people who need to feel His love, even if it means to physically give them a hug.
Today I was who God asked me to be. I may forget in a couple months, a couple weeks, or maybe even tomorrow. But tonight, I praise Him for how good He is. I praise Him because I know that His works are good. Always. I thank Him for everything I have because there is no way I could ever deserve it! I praise Him and thank Him for giving me such a wonderful opportunity as loving on such a beautiful young lady. I thank Him because He is good, even when it doesn't feel like it. He always has a purpose for everything, I just have to have patience and trust that He knows what He's doing..
She has come to our home because she is an orphan. We had gotten the call yesterday that she was in need of a new place to stay because things at the other place she was previously living "didn't work out." I don't know what that means, and I'm not sure I want to know... whether it was her fault or not. She is 23 years old, but due to some mental handicaps, sometimes she seems like a 13 or 14 year old or sometimes younger.. I'm not completely sure about her whole story and to be completely honest, I don't think I'd want to know the whole thing. I know that she has spent some years in a state-run institution (which I could never imagine what that was like because anything run by Guatemala is a nightmare..) and she's been bounced around from home to home. And by talking with her a little, she told me that both of her parents died and she has no siblings. So according to her, she's "libre" or "free".
Quite ironically, I have begun to read the book Kisses From Katie, by Katie Davis. It's the story of a 22 year old girl who literally gave everything to move to Uganda to serve and love the people there in any way she can. And she talks about how you can't change the world with just one big act, with one big thing. You can't radically change and truly share God's love to a country, a state, a city, a village, or even a family effectively by simply doing one great act to help out and calling it good. You change it one person at a time. It takes lots of time and effort. It takes "stopping for the one", stooping down to the need in front of you and tending to it until it gets better.
Just as I was reading this chapter, I found out the phone had just rung and there was a girl from our church who we hardly knew that was in need of a place to stay for a few days.. I stopped. I have always wanted to be one of the "biological kids" that is there to help the kid in need. Since I myself had been in foster care, I have always wanted to play the part in helping the in-coming person instead of being the kid coming in. It meant so much to me to have such a beautiful family there to open their arms for me in my need. I've always wanted to be there for someone else in theirs. And I know that we're not necessarily her foster family at this point, but at least for a couple nights it's basically the same. We ended up agreeing to keeping her for a few days, until they can find somewhere more perminant for her.
And it dawned on me. She has nothing of her own. She has never known what it means to have a home, to have a family. She has never had a place to call hers, she has never known what it means to belong. And I felt as if my heart had broken in two. And it immediately made me think of my own situation..
Why was I chosen to have the family? Why do I get the one with the happy home, with a place I can call mine? What did I do to deserve all this? Why does my story look so much happier than hers? Sometimes when I think about it, I feel so guilty. I KNOW that I don't deserve all that God has given me. I KNOW that I am no better than the one feeling lost and insecure. And I start to feel guilty because most of the time I take my family for granted. Most of the time I forget to think of how things could be way different for me if God hadn't given me such a wonderful and beautiful gift. My heart felt broken when I thought about how I get the luxury of having a family and she doesn't.
And even today, as I walked with her to go get ice cream at the Sarita, as I looked into her beautiful dark brown eyes and saw her big, white smile, while we were playing UNO on the roof, I hurt for her. I saw the hurt that she has carried with her all these years. I saw all the beauty that she is, even though others may tell you differently. I looked into her eyes, and I got the amazing and beautiful priviledge of seeing Jesus. And even while we were coloring, or when she was so proud to be able to tell me how to spell her name even though she can't read, when she smiled at me and just gave me a long, lasting hug, I felt as if I was looking into the beautiful face of my Jesus and embracing Him in my arms as I hugged her. And I was and am so blessed.
You see, to God, Blanca is so important. He doesn't look at her and see that she is an orphan and has no where to call her own. He looks at her and sees her for the beautiful young woman that He created. He sees her as the one He died for on the cross. You see, to Him, she was worth it. To Him, she is no different than me or you. She is every bit as beautiful to Him as you and I are. His heart breaks every time it "doesn't work out" at the place she's staying. His heart hurts every time she feels alone and scared and unimportant. He knows exactly how she feels when she falls asleep at yet another place that she can't call her own. He KNOWS the hurt she deals with when she feels lost and alone. Because like I said, she is HIS. She is His beautiful creation and He hurts every time she does.
And for this very reason, I feel guilty. I am no more special than she is. I am no more important than she is. I don't deserve all that God has given me any more than her.
But that's WHY He chose me. Because I'm not special. Because I don't mean more to Him than she does. If for nothing else, it was to have the understanding and hurt that I did for her today. I would go through it all again, even if it just meant to understand her, to be there for her in her hard time, to show her the love of Jesus. Because I know what it's like to feel like I don't belong. I know what it's like to have to stay in a place unfamiliar to you. I don't know it to the extent she does, not nearly to that extent, but I do a little. And I got to share my story with her. And how God helped me through it, each step of the way. Without His help, I would not be where I am today. All the glory is His. And I can confide in Him for my future because He has taken care of me all these years.
And though I couldn't promise her a family like mine, though I couldn't say that she will ever find a perminant place, I did tell her about His love for her. And even though she may feel alone and scared, He is ALWAYS with her. No matter what she's going through. He has always been looking out for her, and He will be with her each step she takes in her future. Because He loves her.
That's why He chose me; so that way He can get all the glory, that way I can't take any credit for myself, so that I could be there for her in her moment in need as He was with me in mine. I can help bring hope to her and to others who feel as if there is none.
I wish I could take away all the pain and hurt she carries with her. I wish I could tell her that everything will work out and that she will find a home. I wish I could tell her that my home is a place she can call hers. I wish I could say that we can be the family that she so desperately longs for. But I can't. And it hurts that I can't. I wish I could change all of this, but I can't. Because I am only Teisha. And I don't know what is God's Will at this point.
So even though I hurt for her, though tonight she will go to sleep in yet another place she can't call her own, with people she can't call her family, I trust in Him. I trust that He has a purpose for all of this. I trust that His Will will be done in her. And I trust that He will be with her to calm her heart, to dry her tears, and to hold her tight because she is His. His love, patience, and mercy NEVER run out. He will always be all that she needs Him to be, never anything less.
So for today, I stooped down and helped the one. I was the help when there was need. And I plan on doing the same for many, many others. Because "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." -Luke 12:48. God has blessed me with a wonderful home and family, so it is my responsibility to help others who don't. I am to be Jesus to those people who need to feel His love, even if it means to physically give them a hug.
Today I was who God asked me to be. I may forget in a couple months, a couple weeks, or maybe even tomorrow. But tonight, I praise Him for how good He is. I praise Him because I know that His works are good. Always. I thank Him for everything I have because there is no way I could ever deserve it! I praise Him and thank Him for giving me such a wonderful opportunity as loving on such a beautiful young lady. I thank Him because He is good, even when it doesn't feel like it. He always has a purpose for everything, I just have to have patience and trust that He knows what He's doing..
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Friday morning I woke up to it being food distribution day. At nine o'clock in the morning, we were ready to divy out all the food into 8 boxes (which would be distributed to all the familes that are sponsered through our ministry). After about and hour and a half (and then lunch..), we were ready to head out to each family.
God has put together this incredible ministry called Hope for Home. He has orchistrated everything to work out so well that we get to live here in Guatemala, smack-dab in the middle of the need. We get to help families first-hand. We embrace with our own arms, we love with our own hearts, we see with our own eyes, and we know with our own experience. We do not take any credit for what God has done and will continue to do through this ministry because, afterall, He is the One who brought it all together and He is the One who makes it all work.
And even in this great ministry He has made, I am not a necessity. I was not needed in the distribution on Friday, though I was invited to tag along. Though I could've waited for Daddy to write about it in his blog or news letter, I got the priviledge of tagging along and seeing everything first-hand. I got to be a part of the ministry, even though the distribution very well could have been done without me. My dad is able to love on the people himself, he is able to do the distributing himself. He is perfectly able to do it on his own, yet he asked me to come with him, to join him on the journey he was going to take. He invited me to see things and to experience it first-hand. He asked me to be a part and that meant a lot to me.
And so that night when I was up on the roof (and tonight is the same), reflecting on the day, God showed me something pretty neat. I realized that it is the exact same thing with me and God's story. Because God is big enough and fully capable of doing His ministry and getting His work done without me. I am not a necessity to His story, and yet He has asked me to be a part of it. He made all of this exist by Himself. He SPOKE the stars into existance, He made the seas and formed the mountains. He personally formed each one of us. There is no one and there is no thing that God needs. He is a self-sustaining God. He can do it all on His own. And I don't just read about the stories of all that He did through other people in the Bible. He has asked me to tag along for the ride, to see His work first-hand, to be a part of His story.
And as a result, my eyes are opened to things I have never before seen, my heart feels love that I have never felt before, my arms embrace in a different way than before and my passion is instilled further in me. I am blown away by how incredible the God that I serve is. I am in awe of what He can do and I am surrounded by His grace and love. Because even though I am only me, He still chooses me to carry out His plan. He still uses little, broken me to do great things. And by this, I am humbled. Because I know that on my own I can do nothing. Without His love flowing in me and through me, I accomplish nothing but failure. He is truly good. He is ever-faithful. He has always come through in the past, so I know I can trust Him with my future. And in this I am over-whelmed with peace and I enjoy the incredible journey God is taking me on.
So how could I not live for Him? How could I not let Him reign in me? How is it that I would not give back what was given to me in the first place? How could I not let Him do what He has in His incredible plans for me?
It is because I know He has always come through in the past, because I know He will always come through in the future, that I won't let it all be in vain. It is only because of this incredible God that I am who I am today. It is only through His grace that I am here and it is only through His great mercy that I am accepted even though I mess up. I choose to let Him have His way in me because, afterall, it is through Him that everything came into existance, it is through Him that we find true love and joy in this life.
"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect." -1 Corinthians 15:10
God has put together this incredible ministry called Hope for Home. He has orchistrated everything to work out so well that we get to live here in Guatemala, smack-dab in the middle of the need. We get to help families first-hand. We embrace with our own arms, we love with our own hearts, we see with our own eyes, and we know with our own experience. We do not take any credit for what God has done and will continue to do through this ministry because, afterall, He is the One who brought it all together and He is the One who makes it all work.
And even in this great ministry He has made, I am not a necessity. I was not needed in the distribution on Friday, though I was invited to tag along. Though I could've waited for Daddy to write about it in his blog or news letter, I got the priviledge of tagging along and seeing everything first-hand. I got to be a part of the ministry, even though the distribution very well could have been done without me. My dad is able to love on the people himself, he is able to do the distributing himself. He is perfectly able to do it on his own, yet he asked me to come with him, to join him on the journey he was going to take. He invited me to see things and to experience it first-hand. He asked me to be a part and that meant a lot to me.
And so that night when I was up on the roof (and tonight is the same), reflecting on the day, God showed me something pretty neat. I realized that it is the exact same thing with me and God's story. Because God is big enough and fully capable of doing His ministry and getting His work done without me. I am not a necessity to His story, and yet He has asked me to be a part of it. He made all of this exist by Himself. He SPOKE the stars into existance, He made the seas and formed the mountains. He personally formed each one of us. There is no one and there is no thing that God needs. He is a self-sustaining God. He can do it all on His own. And I don't just read about the stories of all that He did through other people in the Bible. He has asked me to tag along for the ride, to see His work first-hand, to be a part of His story.
And as a result, my eyes are opened to things I have never before seen, my heart feels love that I have never felt before, my arms embrace in a different way than before and my passion is instilled further in me. I am blown away by how incredible the God that I serve is. I am in awe of what He can do and I am surrounded by His grace and love. Because even though I am only me, He still chooses me to carry out His plan. He still uses little, broken me to do great things. And by this, I am humbled. Because I know that on my own I can do nothing. Without His love flowing in me and through me, I accomplish nothing but failure. He is truly good. He is ever-faithful. He has always come through in the past, so I know I can trust Him with my future. And in this I am over-whelmed with peace and I enjoy the incredible journey God is taking me on.
So how could I not live for Him? How could I not let Him reign in me? How is it that I would not give back what was given to me in the first place? How could I not let Him do what He has in His incredible plans for me?
It is because I know He has always come through in the past, because I know He will always come through in the future, that I won't let it all be in vain. It is only because of this incredible God that I am who I am today. It is only through His grace that I am here and it is only through His great mercy that I am accepted even though I mess up. I choose to let Him have His way in me because, afterall, it is through Him that everything came into existance, it is through Him that we find true love and joy in this life.
"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect." -1 Corinthians 15:10
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me
And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all
Cause we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
That He loves us, oh how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us, oh how He loves"
-How He Loves
Tonight I am overwhelmed by God's grace. Tonight I am filled with this incredible love that HE has for me. Tonight I am in awe of who my incredible God is. Though my little mind can't even begin to comprehend how long, deep, high, or wide it is, I am overwhelmed by the little bit I can understand.
He still chooses to love me even though I am filthy, small, and broken. He still chooses to accept my small offering even when He is as great and powerful as He is. He deserves SO much more than what we can offer, yet He still has a mind-blowing love for us. He still chooses to take me back, no matter how many times I fail or mess up. He is always there with open arms, waiting for me to embrace Him.
I am humbled at how BIG, AWESOME, INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL, FAITHFUL, LOVING, MERCIFUL, and ALL-POWERFUL He is. And I am completely overwhelmed at His great love for me.
So tonight, as I praise Him, I do not ask anything of Him other than to completely overtake me. Because I only want to be filled with Him and nothing else. I want to follow Him wherever He leads me, that I may be able to show this incredible love to others. I want to be all-consumed by Him because it is only then that I can have true joy in my heart. Only then can I know that HE is good, therefore anything that may happen to me is good and He deserves all the glory and honor for it.
He is God and I am not, so He deserves ALL of me; nothing held back. Tonight I give Him my whole heart, that He may take it and make it into whatever He wants it to be.
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me
And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all
Cause we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
And heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
That He loves us, oh how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us, oh how He loves"
-How He Loves
Tonight I am overwhelmed by God's grace. Tonight I am filled with this incredible love that HE has for me. Tonight I am in awe of who my incredible God is. Though my little mind can't even begin to comprehend how long, deep, high, or wide it is, I am overwhelmed by the little bit I can understand.
He still chooses to love me even though I am filthy, small, and broken. He still chooses to accept my small offering even when He is as great and powerful as He is. He deserves SO much more than what we can offer, yet He still has a mind-blowing love for us. He still chooses to take me back, no matter how many times I fail or mess up. He is always there with open arms, waiting for me to embrace Him.
I am humbled at how BIG, AWESOME, INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL, FAITHFUL, LOVING, MERCIFUL, and ALL-POWERFUL He is. And I am completely overwhelmed at His great love for me.
So tonight, as I praise Him, I do not ask anything of Him other than to completely overtake me. Because I only want to be filled with Him and nothing else. I want to follow Him wherever He leads me, that I may be able to show this incredible love to others. I want to be all-consumed by Him because it is only then that I can have true joy in my heart. Only then can I know that HE is good, therefore anything that may happen to me is good and He deserves all the glory and honor for it.
He is God and I am not, so He deserves ALL of me; nothing held back. Tonight I give Him my whole heart, that He may take it and make it into whatever He wants it to be.
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